Self-Publishing a Book: How I Dropped the Ball

I’ve been querying literary agents for over a decade, for multiple manuscripts. It hasn’t gone well.

Or rather, it hasn’t gone how I expected.

For context: I have been a professional writer and editor for about 15 years. I have several noteworthy credits to my name. I built a six-figure business as a writer. I don’t toot my own horn often, but there is one thing I can and will confidently say: I’m a strong writer.

I never expected getting a literary agent to be easy, but I did think it would have happened by now.

One of my most recent manuscripts is titled I Think I Left the Curling Iron On. To this day, it’s one of the works I’m proudest of.

I must’ve queried close to 100 agents. I got a handful of requests for partials/fulls but ultimately, they all passed.

There were two options I kept tossing around: continue querying and cross my fingers and toes, or self-publish the darn thing.

My Prior Relationship With Self-Publishing

To be fully transparent, I was never a fan of self-publishing. The barrier to entry is so low that anyone can do it, and I didn’t want my book to drown in the crowds.

There’s also the effort involved. While self-publishing a book is easy to do, that doesn’t mean the results come easily. Most authors won’t see a dime. The sales, marketing, and promotion that is required to find success with self-publishing a book is a whole job in and of itself. And a lot of authors, who understandably consider themselves artists, hear the word “sales” and think, “Eh, no thanks.”

But selling your work is a non-negotiable.

So, you spend possibly years writing a book, self-publish it… and then the work really begins? The mere thought exhausts me.

I had no problem admitting that I didn’t want to think of sales and cover design and virtual book tours. I just wanted to write. Thus, for all of these reasons, for a long time, I was very anti-self-publishing.

When the Wind Changed Directions

Eventually, I got tired of the silence and rejection that comes with querying literary agents. (I know, this is how it works.) I had this book of essays that I was so immensely proud of… and no one to share it with.

I can’t remember the exact moment it happened, but I started rethinking self-publishing purely out of desperation. That might not sound very attractive, but that’s how I arrived there.

Eventually, I pulled the trigger.

I came up with a very simple cover design, formatted my book through Amazon KDP, and published it on Amazon.

I posted about it once on Facebook and Instagram…

… and that was the last time I talked about it.

To date, I’ve sold 25 copies — four eBooks and 21 in print — after launching in June of 2021. Many (translation: most) of these sales were very kind friends and family who wanted to support me. There were a few strangers. (Thank you!) After the initial “hype” died down, I didn’t make a single sale after November of that year, until August of 2023.

25 units is nothing to write home about, I felt like a failure, and it’s 1000% my fault.

I Messed This Up Big Time

I’m not sure what I was thinking. Maybe it was the whole concept of, “Build it and they will come!” Because my writing is so incredibly important to me, maybe I assumed it would be important to other people, too.

Except… if you don’t talk about it, they won’t know about it.

If you don’t post about it, they won’t know about it.

If you don’t share it, they won’t know about it.

I posted one selfie on Instagram where I DIDN’T EVEN PUT MAKEUP ON, and that was my big promotional boost. My friend, I had to dig into the archives for this one and I am not proud of this, but in the spirit of transparency…

Selfie with "I Think I Left the Curling Iron On"

Pretty sure those are my pajamas. Anyway…

There was minimal effort. No creativity. I didn’t think outside the box and was completely unaware of the many, many options available to promote your self-published book.

Perhaps obviously, I was disappointed with my sales (or lack thereof), and all it did was confirm my preconceived notions: Self-publishing doesn’t work.

Until…

Hindsight is 20/20

It’s been a couple of years since I first played with self-publishing. I’ve learned a lot more about the publishing industry, and yes, I’ve continued querying agents with my newer manuscripts.

And I still. Don’t. Have. An. Agent.

I’ve once again found myself in a familiar place: I can’t keep waiting.

I’m not ready to self-publish a new book, but I had another idea: Redo the cover, come up with an actual marketing/promotional plan, and relaunch I Think I Left the Curling Iron On.

I revisited the draft and had one of those moments where I was like, “Damn, I can write.” (I am still so proud of this little book!) I added a new chapter, spruced a few things up, and now the updated version — with a brand spankin’ new cover (many thanks to my husband) — is available on Amazon in both print and eBook, and I also recorded an audio version.

More importantly, I have a plan for getting this in front of more eyeballs. I’ve batched a metaphorical ton of social media posts to promote it. I created a book-specific TikTok account where I focus solely on my passion: words. I launched the website you’re on right now to share my work and my thoughts.

I feel more creative and reinvigorated than I have in a long time, and I feel like this was very much meant to be.

I understand now that I need to treat this not just as an art or a hobby but also a little more like a business. And this part of the process can be enjoyable if I so choose to see it that way. Which I will!

Thoughts Moving Forward

This journey isn’t easy. I’ve learned a lot from other writers/authors and want to pay it forward. My plan is to share what I’m trying and the results it’s bringing — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Transparency can only help all of us.

My hope is to break it all down and get into the nitty-gritty — what I’m posting on social media and what is gaining the most traction, virtual book tours and if they’re effective, trying to sell my book to libraries and shops, how to grow an email list of loyal readers that you can stay in touch with, and on and on.

My goals haven’t changed and I still want a literary agent. I want that experience so, so bad.

But I also think it’s not the only way to spread your words far and wide.

xo